If you notice that your child has learned that teasing, taunting, or excluding other students is not only “okay,” but considers this behavior as normal–this is what you can do.
To reframe your child’s belief system you need to:
–Get her to recognize her responsibility to protect herself AND her classmates.
Once she develops a sense of her own personal power she will learn to protect herself from others who challenge what she believes, as well as protect her classmates when she feels they are under attack.
–Have her make the effort to WELCOME new students to the classroom or social group.
As difficult as this may be to instruct, it is imperative that we teach girls to become accepting of new members of a class or group. This implies adopting more of a cooperation mindset than a competitive one.
–Encourage her to speak out to defend a classmate when s /he is being treated unfairly.
Take time to explain the “bystander dilemma.” Oftentimes students feel more comfortable remaining a bystander in these types of situations. Bystanders do not solve problems.
–Reinforce the importance of reporting to an adult when she determines that a classmate needs help and is in trouble.
By working with her to understand WHEN it is important to get an adult involved, she will develop the skills necessary to figure this out on her own. This is vital as she gets older and may find herself in situations where adult guidance is critical.
By working with your child on these four areas, you will notice a difference in her behavior toward others, Over time, you may notice she learns to trust herself more… which is a great step toward the ultimate goal of ACCEPTANCE.